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Codependency - You May Be Addicted to Addiction!

Monday, 13 September 2010

Is it normal not to be interested into really knowing people? Can it be a sign of codependency recovery? | Codependency Freedom

Is it normal not to be interested into really knowing people? Can it be a sign of codependency recovery? | Codependency Freedom: "Is it normal not to be interested into really knowing people? Can it be a sign of codependency recovery?
I know this is kind of a weird question. Lately I have found out that I do not have a need to know new people on a deeper level and that I am more comfortable just socializing in groups. I am usually outgoing, friendly and talkative but these days I love to spend time alone and trying to know what trully interests me. I have to force myself to initiate conversations and do not have a need to hang out with people on the weekends. I know I should be making more effort in approaching people and asking to do some things together but I just do not feel that comfortable. I don’t feel like I always have that connection with someone and do not have that need to act desperate or clingy and hate being in one-sided relationships. Hopefully that does make sense. Has anyone gone through similar stage as I am going right now. Can you explain more what could be going on?"

Codependency - Addicted to an Addict?

Codependency - Addicted to an Addict?: "Codependency - You May Be Addicted to Addiction!
Codependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship.



'Codependency is not about a relationship with an addict, it is the absence of relationship with self.'
~Terry Kellogg"

Sunday, 15 August 2010

father-son relationship may affect how sons, when they've grown into adults, deal with day-to-day stress in their lives

father-son relationship may affect how sons, when they've grown into adults, deal with day-to-day stress in their lives, a new study suggests.
Men who characterized their childhood relationship with their dads as good were more likely to be less emotional in handling stressful events on a daily basis, the U.S. research shows.
The findings emerged from a national sample of about 1,000 men and women who were questioned every day for a week on a wide variety of topics, and who had provided information not only on their relationships but health, medications, socioeconomic status and more.
"Men who on days where they have a stressor are more reactive to it -- they're more likely to be in a bad mood and have higher levels of psychological stress -- these are the men who reported having poor relationships with their father in childhood," said psychologist Melanie Mallers, a stress health researcher at California State University-Fullerton.
Mallers presented her study at the American Psychological Association's annual convention in San Diego on Thursday. The work has been accepted for publication in an upcoming journal, she said.
Most of the parent-child literature focuses on the importance of the mother in the future success of a child. Mallers said she wasn't digging for the link that emerged between dads, their adult sons, and coping with stress.
"It reared its head all on its own, and showed that dads really, really matter for their sons," she said in an interview from Fullerton before heading to the conference.
"They matter for their daughters too, but they're especially significant for how adult men, the children who grow up to become adults, how they react to stress.
"There's a strong link between having poor relationships with your dad in childhood and how you do react to stress as an adult."
To determine the strength of their relationships, subjects were asked questions such as: "How would you rate your relationship with your mother during the years when you were growing up?" and "How much time and attention did your father give you when you needed it?"
The daily phone calls asked, among other things, about their health, what they were angry about and what stressors they had dealt with: "Did they get in a fight with someone, did they get in a car accident, did they forget to pay a bill, did they lose hours from a job, did they have to work longer?" Mallers said.
These kinds of day-to-day issues have an impact on health, sometimes more than major happenings like a divorce or the death of a loved one, she said.
The findings are powerful from a research point of view, Mallers said, but she also sees them through the lens of motherhood.
"As a mom, when I see the way my husband interacts with my son, I realize this is having lasting effects on how he's going to cope, my son, how he's going to cope when he's older," she said. "And he's learning things from his dad that I can't necessarily teach him."
Overall, participants were more likely to describe their childhood relationship with their mom as better than the relationship with their dad. And more men reported a better mother-child relationship than women, the study found.
People with good mother-child relationships reported three per cent less psychological distress compared to those with a poor relationship.
A poor relationship with both parents was associated with more stressful incidents over the eight-day period, compared to those reporting a good parent-child bond.
Mallers said she believes we need to have men more involved in children's lives as role models, whether it's as a parent or in child care and school settings.
"What men can do for boys, the way they play with them, the way they talk with them, the way they teach them to be assertive, the way they teach them to problem-solve -- it has profound lasting implications."

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

ADDICTED TO LOVE

Breaking up can be painful, we all know. But now researchers are showing that heartbreak produces many of the same physical symptoms as cocaine withdrawal.

For a study recently published in the Journal of Neurophysiology, researchers scanned the brains of people who had recently been dumped. They found the areas of the brain that were activated were the same as in those who are withdrawing from cocaine.

The study used MRIs to record the brain activity of 15 university-aged women and men who had recently been dumped by their long-term partners and who described themselves as still being "absolutely and very intensely in love."

The participants' brains were scanned as they looked at images of their lost loves. Then each was shown a "neutral" image of a casual acquaintance for comparison purposes.

Researchers found that looking at photos of former partners stimulated several key areas of participants' brains much more than viewing pictures of "neutral" people.

Specifically, the nucleus accumbens and prefrontal cortex (related to intense addiction to cocaine and cigarettes) were activated, as were the ventral tegmental area (related to feelings of romantic love), and the insular cortex and the anterior cingulate (related to physical pain).

Study author and clinical professor of neuroscience at Albert Einstein College of Medicine Dr. Lucy Brown says romantic love can offer the same high as cocaine, and create similar feeling of withdrawal when the reward is withdrawn. But she notes that while romantic love and cocaine can be addictive, it's natural to get addicted to love.

"An interesting perspective is that romantic love is the natural, original addiction. Nature gave us this addiction, and in a sense we need it. It protects us," she told CTV's Canada AM Monday from New York.

She also notes that while breaking an addiction to a romantic love is hard, it can be done.

"You have to let the unconscious processes in your brain help you to heal. Time will change things," she said.

"And we can take a lesson from people who are recovering from cocaine addition and go to support groups: talk to people who are supportive, people who are sympathetic and understand. Talk about it. Think about what was good about the relationship and what was bad about it. And know that nature has given you these symptoms the next time."